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She Works Hard for the Money

Corporate Lessons

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit noticed the crow, and asked, "Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?" he crow answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral Of The Story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two ~ A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral Of The Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three ~ When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need brains to be a Boss -- any asshole will do.

Prison vs Work, a comparison...

*In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
* In prison you get 3 meals a day
At work, you get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
* In prison you get a time off for good behavior
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work
* In prison you can watch TV and play
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games
* In prison a guard locks, unlocks...opens and closes all door for you.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all doors yourself
* In prison you get your own toilet
At work, you have to share
* In prison, they allow you to visit your family and friends.
At work, you can't even speak to family and friends
* In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
* In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.
* In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
* In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic and psychotic.
At work we call them managers.